Therapy Information
RELIGIOUS TRAUMA/SPIRITUAL ABUSE
You may be asking yourself, am I in the right place? Do I even have trauma? Was what I experienced really abusive? Something inside of you is wanting to find clarity, and I imagine that prompting is from pain.
Religious trauma can result from one fear-inducing event, or a lifetime of many confusing or frightening experiences that culminate in ongoing distress. Some survivors experience chronic misplaced guilt, perfectionism, fear of punishment, pervasive shame, inability to trust others, and most difficult - disconnection from and even hatred of oneself. When we are not able to leave a situation that is threatening, our bodies do their best to protect us in the moment. Maybe you learned to please others or shut down the fight part of yourself in order to maintain a relationship or remain a part of the group. Spiritual abuse occurs when power and control are used to acquire the conformity of others. Saying no may have put you at risk of abandonment or shaming by others, and you learned to withhold and silence your voice.
You are not broken, lost, or alone. Your voice, needs, and choices are valid. They deserve to be heard and valued.
Perhaps you have identified your religious beliefs no longer align with who you are becoming and you are in the process of deconstructing or deconverting. This can be both liberating and terrifying as you consider what life ahead may look like apart from what you have known of yourself and the world for so long.
In therapy together, we will focus on finding and creating safety in your life, exploring your values and your expanding identity, grieving and processing traumatic memories, holding space for underlying shame, and helping you to reclaim what has always been yours.
TRAUMA RECOVERY
I use an approach called Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy and I chose it because it goes beyond conversation into the deeper emotional experiences that happen over and over again and keep you stuck in defensive reactions. In our sessions together, we will get curious about what parts of you show up and what they have been longing to say.
I also use Internal Family Systems, which helps us identify the internal family, or parts, that operate inside of you and have worked diligently to keep you protected from danger. We will work to bring your Self, the you that is most authentic and can never be damaged, to the forefront and to help tired parts find relief in the knowledge that you are working toward finding peace and healing.
We will go at your pace, taking our time to allow your nervous system to experience safety in relationship, to process through waves of previously feared emotional experiences, and celebrate the vitality you possess.
Healing Is Possible
Will I ever feel better? We are highly defended against our emotional experiences, and we go to great lengths to assimilate and find safety within maladaptive environments. Though these defenses may have kept us safe during a singular or ongoing trauma, they may also be getting in the way of desired growth in relationships with others and self development. The work of the approaches I use (AEDP, IFS) will include creating safety within the therapeutic relationship that will allow you to have corrective emotional and relational experiences, increasing your capacity to experience emotions to completion, and to heal what has been left alone for so long.
Together, we will navigate where trauma resides and symptoms persist, taking our time unraveling how early messaging, lack of boundaries, and patterns of abuse may be reinforcing current feelings of being stuck, anxious, and depressed. I focus on pacing sessions in a way that is respectful of your healing nervous system, checking in with you as we go to see where we may need to make adjustments that preserve your agency and autonomy.
What does healing look like? Perhaps it will mean you no longer feel the need to isolate from others and retreat when shame becomes overwhelming. Panic or anxiety attacks have slowed or stopped occurring when you interact with triggering individuals, environments, or subject matter. Above all, healing can mean loving and knowing yourself; using your power and agency to make decisions that lead to your wellbeing and fulfillment.
Therapy Approaches
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AEDP is the bread and butter of how I “do therapy”. It is healing-oriented and transformation-seeking, meaning you already have inside of you what is needed to change. Symptoms you are experiencing and behaviors that seem confusing are the result of your best efforts to adapt and cope with unwanted aloneness, traumatic experiences, and overwhelming emotions.
Through the safety we cultivate in our therapeutic relationship and your willingness to examine and stay with defenses, your innate capacity to heal and flourish will be activated.
This approach is experiential and I will follow your lead in pacing our sessions so that you never feel outside of what we would call your Window of Tolerance. When we are beyond that window, it can activate fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses in our nervous system.
If you would like to learn more about this modality, you can check out aedpinstitute.org
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You may already be familiar with the term “parts work” as a buzzword from popular culture. Indeed, IFS consists of identifying aspects of yourself that took on specific roles across your lifetime to protect you. Some even carry your wounds. The goal of IFS is to bring your Self (the core of who you are) to the forefront and to understand and heal parts that have been working overtime.
In session, this can look like us using art, writing, or other means of helping you identify your parts and how they have served you. Your Self is confident, calm, connected, compassionate, creative, has clarity, curiosity, and courage. It has always been there and no matter the challenges you have experienced in your life, it can never be damaged. In therapy, we will help your parts find a voice and help bring your Self to the forefront, which may look like a change in your behavior, how you move in the world, and your perception of yourself.
To learn more about this modality, visit ifs-institute.com
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This approach can be very helpful in understanding and identifying learned thought patterns and associated trauma responses or behaviors that may seem confusing or distressing without context.
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ACT is about accepting things that are out of your control (like difficult thoughts and feelings) rather than fighting them, and committing to actions that align with your personal values.
For more information about this approach, please visit: https://www.portlandpsychotherapytraining.com/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy
“You do not have to be good
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert repenting
You only have to let the soft animal of your body Love what it loves.”
— Mary Oliver
